do you remember when you were a kid and the doorbell rang you would run and see who it was, now i just run to my room instead
if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money id just laugh and search with them
this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
me trying to do math is like me trying to lose weight, it just doesnt work out
tumblr literally defies all things i’ve been taught:
- don’t talk to strangers
- don’t make friends online
- don’t do anything stupid
you know that quiet girl in class?
yeah she goes home and makes fun of you all on tumblr
do you have any last words??? delete my browser history
one time in high school this kid started choking on a roll and instead of helping him i said “how breadful” and that about sums up how useful i am in emergencies
unfollowing me wont help you lose your virginity
i kinda forgot it was even valentines day until i saw the heart beating next to the tumblr logo
HOLY SHIT THIS IS UNREAL
one time I tripped on my own feet when I was walking